Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
