David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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