i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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