i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
