He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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