why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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