she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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