Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
