overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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