Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
