I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
