Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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