Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
