Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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