Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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