My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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