We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize