No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
