Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
