I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize