Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
