Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
