Nicole vs. Life
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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