and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
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I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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