it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize