dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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