her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
