Me too!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
