He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
