it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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