I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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