I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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