So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
