New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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