the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
