Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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