It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
