apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
