i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
