Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
