i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
MIDGETS
????
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
