You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
