My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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