it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
worst night to have a conscience
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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