i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
