I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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