What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
