Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
