In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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