take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the day after is always just damage control
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
