He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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