I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
two words...techno handjob
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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