There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
