when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
