everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
