speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
