I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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