I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
