That's intense
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
