I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
