You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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