if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
