WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I hate all girls vehemently.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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