Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
