I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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